I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
