I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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