She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
