i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
