Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
