it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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