too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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