At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
