I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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