Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just had sex bonerless
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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