Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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