Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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