I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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