ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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