I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
