I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
