you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
