He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
