you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
