ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
