So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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