drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
