I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
