My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
