absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
