You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
