i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
