She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I party with great urgency now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
