I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
