i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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