i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
