he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
