I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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