I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
