I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
