I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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