He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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