The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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