If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
