Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
