new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
