So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
