quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
