I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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