Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize