the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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