Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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