One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
