Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
