Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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