remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
