My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
