he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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