Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
