and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
