absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
