Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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