one might say we're banned from that church
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
