So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
