Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Enjoy the penises
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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