I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
