I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
